You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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