The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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