Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
