I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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