this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
