I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
