Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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