So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just found puke in my bra..
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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