Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
