another moral hangover. fuck.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize