No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
