It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
