Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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