You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
