Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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