Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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