Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize