how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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