I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
