Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize