Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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