From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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