ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
