So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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