We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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