party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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