I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
