sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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