oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
