don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
