That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It's rum buckets o'clock
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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