sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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