I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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