R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
