The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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