Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
