who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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