my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
