Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
