She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
