Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize