oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
