Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
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