no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
