i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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