no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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