I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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