Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
