Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
