When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
