You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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