Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
