I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
