This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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