talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
