can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
