so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
