You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
