I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize