$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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