No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
