im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
