would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
