dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
