Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
