I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
