Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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